Aquarius

Though the moon is in Mercury it will draw you towards biotechs. The dominance of Jupiter this month will mean you will draw better success from paying attention to shorting resources and energy commodities in particular.

Pisces

You may find that a close business associate’s attempts to get you to invest in a scheme that pays you from the money they get from future investors is the influence of Venus in your chart. Since the scheme has been running for about 10 years and Saturn’s presence suggests some legal complications, this is not a positive path to follow.

Aries

Having the moon in this fire sign spells some emotional turmoil for you this month, don’t let other people’s opinions bring you down, you really deserve that bonus, you didn’t make the system collapse and everyone else was doing it too, so why should you have to go without?

Taurus

Finally slow moving Pluto has exited your dominant constellation. This month spells the end of a long period of being accident prone. Though only a minor inconvenience and setback to yourself, overlooking the large proportion of mortgage loans on properties in the desert to unemployed meth users in those securitised loan mortgage instruments which you rated as AAA has had some dramatic consequences for others. But now you can get back to undermining the creditworthiness of Nations and productive industrial concerns.

Gemini

Your zodiac symbol suggests a two faced nature and with Uranus fully in view you have demonstrated your contempt for those you are supposed to protect and shown an unswerving loyalty to those you should have been regulating. This position is no longer tenable and you will have to call in some favours from some of the friends you helped by looking other way. Never mind, the future looks bright as your replacements are your old mates from your fraternity days.

Cancer

Another victim of Pluto in the zodiac. Yes it did seem for a while that prices never come down. So who could blame you for borrowing 30 times your lifetime’s earnings in order to leverage up your investments, and they were willing to lend it to you and they are the ones with all of the prudential discipline, so it must have been alright. I suggest declaring yourself bankrupt and heading to Mexico, or faking your own death and have your family collecting on your insurance, then move to Mexico.

Leo

Pluto seems to having been playing havoc across the zodiac and you have not escaped, but you also have the influences of Mars and Venus. Yes fiscal responsibility does mean not spending a lot more than you earn, and simply printing more money does not get around the problem in the way that you may think. Though your current problems seem to stem from results of you handing out hundreds of billions of dollars to the same people who managed to create vast quantities of securities out of thin air that they valued at trillions of dollars which disappeared almost overnight. Following up the hand outs with the idea of buying up the imaginary securities demonstrates that Pluto is nowhere near exiting your sign.

Virgo

As your star sign suggests you have kept yourself chaste, you put your savings into secured deposits and capital guaranteed investments, you bought yourself a modest flat in a reasonable suburb with a healthy deposit and your friends were laughing at you for accepting meager returns and for not having a nice house in the best part of town. The presence of Neptune has been a very positive influence on you. However the future does not look as good as Jupiter and Saturn replace your departing Neptune, the continued decline in property prices has almost put you into negative equity on your flat, your savings are being diluted by money printing and the return on your deposits and investments are declining with falling interest rates. Surprisingly though, your cost of living is not coming down, and neither is your mortgage rate. It appears the other zodiac signs may be conspiring against you.

Libra

Yes you have been paying out dividends and buying corporate jets instead of investing in capital equipment, and you did just keep manufacturing the same product to the same lousy standards year after year, and now nobody wants to buy what you have to sell. Mercury is being kind to you and has brought word that you should be able to pull off the same trick as your banking mates, and join in to the benefits of the corporate welfare state.

Scorpio

The whole zodiac has been kind to you, though this may be coming to an end. Despite robbing your shareholders blind and driving the business into bankruptcy, you have managed to profitably sell off your option portfolio, secretly set up significant short positions and with the help of the board of directors organised a generous golden parachute for yourself. The future looks bright.

Sagittarius

Venus has been playing tricks on you; somehow those rich guys on the TV, that investor magazine and your full service broker seem to be full of buying tips but they never seem to be able to tell you what you should sell. Your financial advisor has just bought himself the latest Porsche Turbo but you have had to downgrade your Merc S to an E. Mercury is entering your sign and may bring some insight in to what has been going on.

Capricorn

Yes there is one born every minute, your clients don’t realise that you have been getting them to churn their investments between your favourite high commission paying products, they trust you implicitly after all why shouldn’t they; you are well spoken, well educated, well dressed and rich. Mercury has been favouring you, but it may be time to update your disclaimers and service contracts as Mercury is soon to depart your sign.